Winter Bugs

Ah, t’is the season of the rampant viruses, snotty noses, sore throats and days off school. Oh, what joy!
Of course, being Mummies and not doing things by halves, we get the added benefit of dealing with all the viral fun in more ways than one. Hooray!

Nothing like a bit of multitasking to keep us on our toes.
Firstly, there’s all the fun of having to interrupt your daily (or weekly) routine to put up with some hot, whinging, snotty kid who just wants a cuddle. Like a 24 hour one with no break!

There’s always the added benefit, even though you may have to take a day off work, miss your coffee date or just not do the vacuuming that day, that they are soooo sick they’re verging on comatose and you only need to go check them every couple of hours to ply them with more Panadol.
At least you get some peace and quiet at those times. But wait! There’s more.

Yes, more benefit. You don’t need to leave the house for swimming lessons, school pickup, tai kwon do or any of those ‘extra’ things you generally have to do.
If you have more than one child, however, you will discover their complete inability to co-ordinate their illness, forcing you to rely on the kindness of others to do some sort of pickup or drop off, have the “well” child missing swimming lessons to stay at home and annoy everyone else because they’re “bored”, and the inevitable “You love him more than me!”

The fact that “he” is verging on hospital admission is absolutely irrelevant and that argument should never be entered into in order to convince unloved sibling of its complete falsehood.

You do get to repeat exactly the same thing the following week with the extra child. Repeat weekly until all your children have been affected. In some cases, you may even get to repeat the cycle again, with recurring infections. Just in case you thought you had a handle on it.
And what about when Mummy is sick?

Do the kids care? Your husband?
Of course not. This is well outside of their domain or comprehension ability. Don’t even attempt to kid yourself that they may have a inkling of understand. Or compassion. That’s just your ‘flu induced delusional state speaking.

Of course, they won’t baulk at any missed school days, however, your complete incapacitation is completely inconsiderate and you will still be required to entertain them.
This is where you can apply some Real Mums Tips to Winter Bugs:

- Implement what you will now refer to as a “Special Mummy Day”, that will never, ever happen again, or until Mummy decides she needs another one;
- Let them choose a DVD each. Several each if necessary;
- Get some blankets, fill up some water bottles – big ones (yours may contain Vodka, Gin, Scotch or the strong liquor of your choice), plate up some snacks and settle yourself on the couch for the long haul;
- If necessary, teach children how to insert and play a DVD. If they know how to already – bonus!;
- Lie on couch. Have children seat themselves comfortably around you – with strict instructions that if there is any movement for the next 3 days, they will be removed permanently from their position and forced to sit on the worst chair in the house. Threaten ostracism if necessary;
- Do not move until you are fully recovered and/or need to top up your ‘water’ bottle.

If you struggle with this from a guilt perspective, practice this mantra:
“If they can open the Tupperware, they will not starve.”

Just ensure all Tupperware is at a safe child height. You’re in no state to be dashing off to the emergency department just now. Although … it could take your mind of your current condition. Nothing like a bit of drama to cure a sick Mummy!
(And if your hubby can't open the Tupperware - then he deserves to starve!)

Article Source: http://www.therepozitory.com.au

Written by Mad Cow (aka Amanda Cox) wife, mother of three boys, WAHM and founder of fluff-free, reality parenting website www.realmums.com.au. In a former life her wardrobe consisted entirely of fluorescent lycra g-string leotards, but it was the 90’s and she was a personal trainer & aerobics instructor – now she reckons you just do what she says, not what she does.

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