Routines: The First 12 Weeks

Babies love routines. They looooove routines. It’s very important, in order to have a happy, settled baby, one that sleeps well and feeds well, to have a routine.

It’s very important. VERY important. Just read any parenting book.

And it’s not hard at all to establish a routine. The first six weeks (give or take twelve months) the baby just sleeps and eats. You’ll be feeding roughly every four hours, and yes, this includes overnight as well.

But you know all that.

You just establish your routine around this – simple, baby feeds every four hours, plan around feed times. It is unlikely that your baby will sleep through till approximately twelve weeks (give or take 36 months) and there will be overnight feeds during this time, but maybe not so many, depending on the child.

Of course, you must remember that feeding can take about an hour, then there’s the settling back to sleep time, which could be anywhere from ten minutes to one hour. Lets take the average and say one hour feeding, half hour settling, you now have two and a half hours to do other things.

You also need to consider your own health and wellbeing, so in these two and a half hours you could eat, go for a walk or prepare a week’s worth of food for your evening meal. That way, you don’t have to worry about doing it every night, and you can use that time for reading a book, perhaps, or chatting to your partner about his or her day. You also need to take time to socialise with others, attend mother’s groups or do the shopping.

Then there’s the housework, but that’s OK. Go easy on yourself, and don’t try to do it all at once. Many books suggest making the bed as soon as you get up. Then that’s one thing you’ve achieved for the day. Then the washing can be done on one day, the ironing another, the vacuuming another and so on.

Spread it out over the week. This way, you won’t be overwhelmed with housework to be done and you can plan this into your day (around feeding, settling, walks, settling, shopping, feeding, socialising, eating, feeding, sleeping, meals preparation, settling).

Now you have an idea of what you generally need to fit into your day, you can establish a daily routine. It may look something like this:

Settle baby after last overnight feed. Go for short brisk walk before partner gets up for work. Have a shower and get dressed. Put load of washing on whilst you prepare and eat breakfast. Feed and settle baby. Hang washing out. Prepare and eat lunch. Begin preparation of evening meal. Feed and settle baby. Put baby in pram to sleep. Go for a walk and meet some friends for coffee (except that the Coffee and Breastfeeding Police forbid the drinking of coffee whilst you are breastfeeding, so you may have a decaf or a large glass of water. You are there for the socialising, anyway).

Depending on length of time socialising, you may need to feed and settle baby whilst out. Return home. Bring dry washing in, sort and fold it. Complete preparation of evening meal. Feed and settle baby. Enjoy relaxed evening meal with partner. Watch a bit of telly together. Feed and settle baby. Go to bed.

Of course, the washing will be substituted for other household tasks that need doing, or you may like to use some of this time to sleep or rest while the baby is asleep.

Some days, you may also need to consider people dropping in (like your sister-in-law with the four noisy and obnoxious kids who never gives you warning of their imminent arrival, or your mother-in-law who subtly comments on your inadequacy as a mother). This is Ok; just take it in your stride.

By the end of the first week you’ll have your routine down beautifully, just like in the books, or so you tell your mother –in –law anyway.

But in reality it is much more like this – Baby cries for morning feed, nudge partner in back, have him or her bring baby into bed for a feed. Don’t get up, he/she can get their own damn breakfast, you’re not their mother and surely they’re big enough to do it themselves. Feed and attempt to settle baby. Place screaming baby in pram, walk to closest food outlet to purchase large block of chocolate. Also buy a takeaway coffee (stuff the Coffee & Breastfeeding Police – they’re not helping with the baby, are they?). Walk home. Switch Oprah on, feed baby and consume entire block of chocolate whilst watching T.V. Watch some Dr Phil after that. With any luck, baby will fall asleep on breast. Slap together a Vegemite sandwich. If anyone turns up at this point, advise them that you’re still in your jarmies because the baby threw up on your clean clothes and you grabbed the closest thing you could. Babies spit up a lot, don’t worry, they’ll believe you. Greet partner from the comfort of the couch. Have you fed baby again – probably! Dinner, what dinner? Have partner put together a toasted ham, cheese and tomato sandwich – grains, protein, dairy and a vegie. What more do you need, really? Or is tomato a fruit? Who cares? Feed baby, pass to partner to settle. Go and get clothes from line. Yep, should probably do that, they’ve been there 3 days now. Drag self to bed. No need to get changed, you already have your jarmies on!!

Most mums have days and weeks that look just like this, and real mums know that as long as the baby is fed and loved things will turn out just fine in the long run. Routines are very important for happy settled babies but the pressure to stick to a pre-defined routine can be unhealthy for mums. So time out to eat chocolate and watch Oprah are just as important for happy healthy mums as routines are for happy healthy babies.
See? Easy!

Article Source: http://www.therepozitory.com.au

Mad Cow (aka Amanda Cox) is the founder of www.realmums.com.au, a parent support website that acknowledges and openly discusses the realities of parenting. She is a Real Mum to two boys, a Real Wife to a Grumpy Bugger, a WAHM and has just completed a BAppSc. Health Promotion. In her spare time, she creates sculptures from leftover WeetBix. She may be contacted via email at madcow@realmums.com.au

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