Do you Think You're Selfish?

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
- Erma Bombeck.

I often get asked what my top tips are for Mumpreneurs®. They may vary from month to month but there is one that I think really stands out. That is…
Learn to say ‘no' without feeling guilty.

At most points in time there are a thousand things you could choose to be doing. And every day (at least it seems that way) you get asked by someone to do just one more thing.

It might be to meet up for coffee or it might be to join the fundraising committee. It might be to lend a hand with the wording on a flyer or maybe it's to drop the kids off at school even though it's not your day to do so.

As women we've traditionally been brought up to be 'nice', and being nice means saying yes to whatever is asked of you (unless it's of a sexual nature of course). Saying no means you risk being condemned of being selfish. Becoming a mother often compounds the problem with all the guilt that comes with being the 'perfect mum'.

You might have heard the saying 'If mums not happy nobody's happy'. We can hide our frustration for so long, but eventually something's got to give. It might be your temper, your health or your relationships with others, including your kids.

For everything you say yes to there are many other things you are consequently saying no to. If you say yes to joining a committee you are saying no to spending that time in another way, whether it's with the kids, on your business, having some me time, exercising or anything else.

So how do we learn to say 'no' - and without the guilt that can so often come with it? Here are a few tips...

Be clear on what is important to you. What do you value highly and what is lower down on the list? Weigh each request on your time based on these values.

Practice with someone you feel comfortable with. Ask them to make a request of you and practice saying no. You can start with the small things then move on from there.

Have a few standard replies that you can tailor as the situation arises. It might be something like... 'I would love to help out but my priorities lie elsewhere at the moment' or 'I'm focusing on x at the moment but can help you out in x days/months time if you still need me to' (only say this if you mean it though.

You can make a counter offer. Just because you don't want to take control of the school fete doesn't mean you can't help out with a stall on the day. Let them know what you are prepared to do and they'll still be happy.

Leap 'n' Bound: Are there areas of your life that are suffering at the moment because you've neglected to say 'no' to something else? Consider what's more important in moving forward, then take assertive action to do what's right for you (and ultimately your family).

Article Source: http://www.therepozitory.com.au

Rochelle Dent is the Mumpreneurs Coach. She partners with Mums who run their own business to increase their profits without sacrificing their family. You can find more articles by Rochelle on her website at www.leapsnboundscoaching.com on the “Free Stuff” page. While you’re there why not sign up for ‘Mumpreneur Magic’ – an informative, inspiring and free e-zine especially for Mumpreneurs.

Please Rate this Article

5 out of 54 out of 53 out of 52 out of 51 out of 5 

Not yet Rated